Simply Lups

New Home

2006-12-16T09:22:00.000-06:00

I have a new blog to post my thoughts since I'm having a hard time to post now on blogger. Don't really know why must be my settings. Anyways, here's the new link:

http://lups272.livejournal.com/

I'm going to start posting soon. Thanks. :)

Birthday Shoutouts

2006-09-12T06:53:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday to....

JaJa LaRoSa

JuStInE dE lEoN

JaY gUiNdAy

TiNs HeRnAnDeZ

ChRiS aLcAnTaRa

Sana ala ako nakalimutan. Hehe. If I did, let me know.

Shoulder To Cry On

2006-08-27T08:47:00.000-05:00

Its hard....

Its hard to find the one person you could relate to. Somebody you feel a strong connection with no matter what your status with that person is. Sooner or later you'd feel something deep inside of you that you'd want to express it out. Shout it out to the entire world what you really feel.

Maybe I'm being stupid to the fact that I'm still hoping for a chance. One time I felt right about smething, one time that I feel like I finally found this light that would pull me out of the darkness, then this happens. Its just so unfair for me. I may sound selfish or what, but the fact is, I cannot deny or block out this feeling I have right now.

Its so hard to think that there's no chance at all. It hurts me everytime I see this person walk down in front of me and I can't even say anything, that I can't express what I really feel because its a threshold I dare not cross. It hurts everytime that I feel like I am ready to show my entire heart and soul to a person, that I cannot do it because of something else. It breaks my heart knowing that I feel right and yet the other finds it wrong.

I don't know what to do now. I honestly don't. I hope you're reading this because I want to whisper it to your ear and say that my feelings are growing every single day whether or not I see you. Its hard to accept the fact that there might be no more chance and everytime I think about it, I can't help but tear up.

....

I want to get away, run away, forget about this thing I'm feeling for you but I can't. I've tried every single way I could to do it but I just can't. Maybe its something deeper, maybe its not, I just don't know.

I want you to know because I cannot find myself peace if I don't tell you. I really hope that I find the right reason and the right moment to do it.

I just need a shoulder to cry on just right now.

Surprisingly Yours

2006-08-25T10:57:00.000-05:00

....tired....

....so so so tired....

....sleepy....

....so so so sleepy....

but im still typing....

ZzZzZzZzZzZ.....

Haha. Un lang po.

Happy Birthday Shoutouts

2006-08-21T22:15:00.000-05:00

Just thought I'd greet some people for this month of August. So Happy Birthday to...

Mc BaGuIo

MeLaI iBaRrA

CaThY rOdIl

MaV dUrAn

MaRk SaLaZaR

MaJ tOlEdO

AtE pInA

Aun lang. Hehe. Kung may nakalimutan ako, sorry. Happy Birthday din sa yo.

I Grow Stronger

2006-08-21T21:25:00.000-05:00

Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.

See the tagboard message there on the right side? "Anonymous gurl", or whoever. *sigh* I don't really know what I did to you that's so wrong or anything, I just want to know why you posted that. Maybe I did something wrong, and I would absolutely without any moment's hesitation accept it if you'd just tell me what it was.

I hate the fact that somebody out there doesn't like me and the best thing you could do is post in my message board and personally attack who I am. Do you even know me? Do you even know how I live?

I don't even know you and yet here I am trying to figure out a way to make sure that things work out. That maybe I could sort things out with you and we could go from there. I cannot do a thing if I don't know what the heck the problem is. And since you brought it up, you might as well finish what you've started, right?

Now, whatever your plan is, okay, bring it on. I am not forcing a fight, I am not looking for a fight, I just want answers. Maybe Im the wrong guy you're targetting or whatever, I do have my picture up there.

Its just so frustrating that somebody attacks you on your place you can open up your thoughts and be okay with it. So I tell you "Anonymous Gurl", speak up and let me know what your problem is to me and not use any code names because I for one cannot understand you.

Its between you, me and somebody I know. There are about a hundred people I know so you might as well tell me the freaking name and get on with our lives. You can do it in so many ways that you don't need to embarass yourself.

You can email me at lups272@yahoo.com

You can reach me through Yahoo! Messenger with the username lups272.

You can also reach me through AOL Messenger with the username gelomallare.

You take your pick. If Im not on, you can always leave a message right? No need to hide yourself. Its better for you to show yourself and let it all out otherwise you'll just stay as bitter and bitchy as you are in your post.

I'm done.

...As I cry...

2006-08-06T01:03:00.000-05:00

Ang pagmamahal, hindi iniisip. Nararamdaman.

Mahirap talaga. Sa buong buhay ko hindi ko pa nararanasan na maging ganito. Yung tipong masaya at malungkot ng sabay. Mahirap dalhin sa balikat mo na may napakalaking problema ka pero kailangan mo ipakita na masaya ka. Mahirap talaga na madaming gumugulo sa isipan mo at hindi mo alam kung ano na ang gagawin mo.

Hindi bawat oras masaya magmahal.

Sabagay, lahat tayo dadaan sa ganung situation sooner or later. Gusto ko sana isipin na kaya ko 'tong lagpasan. Gusto ko sana na pagkatapos ng lahat, wala akong magiging problema. Pero everytime na lang na magiisip ako, wala na akong magawa kungdi masaktan, umiyak, maguluhan. "Kaya natin 'to", sabi nya. But what if I don't?

Hindi mo maiiwasan na may masaktan.

Sa lahat ng ayaw ko ay 'yung may masasaktan. Yung may mahihirapan. Kasi lahat ng ginawa ko e buong puso kong ginagwa. Its hard to think that for everything that you've done, it all comes down to somebody getting hurt. I don't want that. Its too hard for me to handle seeing somebody I care for so much get hurt. Ayoko na lumabas na binalewala ko lahat. Ayoko na lumabas na hindi ako nag-appreciate sa lahat ng nagawa at nangyari. And most importantly, I don't want to end something so dear and precious just because I can't do it anymore.

To err is human, to forgive is divine.

Possibly the best thing that could happen is to let it go. I can't keep holding on knowing that nothing would ever happen since I can't keep on making it happen. Its so hard to make a decision that you may regret later on but its part of life. Its why we are human. We are human because we are to help each other. We aren't divine, we are but only human.

And after this is all over, I can only hope and pray that everything goes well.

Im Counting On You

2006-07-10T10:27:00.000-05:00

Meron 'to dun sa sidebar ko. I thought I'd place it here too. :)

Here in the Dark

I stand before you knowing

This is my chance to show you my heart

This is the start, this is the start.

I have so much to say and I'm hoping

That your Arms are open

Don't turn away, i want you near me

But you have to hear me.

Here's where I stand,

Here's who I am

Love me, but don't tell me who I have to be

Here's who I am,

I'm what you see.

You said I had to change and I was trying

But my heart wasn't lying

I'm not a child any longer

I am stronger

Here's where I stand,

Here's who I am

Help me, to move on but please don't tell me how

I'm on my way, I'm moving now

In this life we've come so far

but we're only who we are (who we are)

With courage of love (Courage of Love)

show us the way (Show us the way)

Unlock the power
To stand up and say (Stand up)

(Up and say!)

Here's where I stand

Here's who I am

(Stand Up) and be counted, i'll be counting on you

If you're with me, we'll make it through

Here's where I stand,

Here's who I am

Love me, Love me, Love me, and we'll make it through

Here's where I stand,

Baby, Baby, Baby, I'm counting on you

Here's where I stand

Love me, Love me, Love me, and we'll make it through

I'm counting,

I'm counting, I'm counting on....

You

Post

2006-06-14T08:08:00.000-05:00

Hay...sobrang daming ginagawa, stress, pagod, puyat, pero may time para mag-update ng blog. Hehe. Its been a while since I've posted here and I promised myself that I would post more. Hehe. Ganun talaga. Im going into this deep senti mode again wherein I think of a lot of things whenever my mind wanders off.

These past few days has been great. I spent so much time with what I believe is right. On what I think really matters for me. Selfish, I know, but I've been giving myself to be the good person. To be the one who doesn't complain, the one who will follow orders, the one who's on the line but there's something in you, in each one of us, that something, that person who wants to get out of your system and explode.

So I'll make this systematic. The way I want it to be. The way I believe would make me express my thoughts more.

1. Why is there always that feeling of guilt whenever you know you did something wrong?

Okay, its very obvious for what the answer is to that question but the thing is, I always find myself to doing what I know is wrong. Its like Im in this frame wherein I do something wrong and I think about it afterwards. I feel like Im losing my control over myself and *sigh*. Its not right at all.

2. Love comes when it comes. Why is it that you I keep pushing it?

Im happy. Im extremely, very, super, uber happy with what I have right now. This fantastic person I have, I can hug, I can feel, I can love but there are times wherein I wonder, is this person the right one? Is this person the one I want to be with? Am I really happy with this person? Or is it just a stepping stone for a whole new field waiting to be opened.

3. Why is it that stress comes at the most wrong times?

Did I say that right? Anyway, I've never stressed on something. I just usually cry it out and from there, find out how I could fix the problem. But what if that problem cannot be fixed? Sure, its okay if its a project, it can be done in two, three days tops but what about personal problems? Problems that you know cannot be fixed within a time frame. Problems that you know you need to confront sooner or later.

So, I guess three is enough for now. Nakakalungkot kasi isipin na alam mo ng mali yung ginagawa mo, ginagawa mo parin. Ayan, malungkot na ko....hay....

Gusto ko ng kayakap ngaun.

Pano na kaya kung wala ka na?

Sana wag na.

Sana wag muna.

Sana forever na.

I should be doing something else

2006-05-10T08:08:00.000-05:00

I have this homework for DBMS that I should be doing pero sobrang nakakatamad. As in. Haha. Nagpapakasenti na lang ako ngayon. Hehe. As in gusto kong gawin, pero sa sobrang katamaran ko, ndi ko magawa.

Anyway, nag-away kami kanina. Hehe.

Kasi sabi ko, uwi ako pagkatapos ko kumain ng tinapay sa Lounge. E itong si Cathy, niyaya ako sumama sakanya sa paglakad papuntang Glorietta. E sakto, sa Landmark ako sumasakay tuwing MWF kasi mahirap sumakay sa Taft so go naman ako.

Nagpaalam ako. Sabi ko, kasama ko c Cathy tska yung kasama nya. Hehe.

Aun. E 4:30 na, andun parin kami sa MAPUA so napipikon na siya sakin. Hehe. Kasi sabi ko alis na kami e mga 4:15 yun. Kumain pa kami sa McDo sa may Paseo. Hayyyy. Sobrang nag-sorry ako sa text. Kasi hindi ko naman siya makikita. Sumakit ata daliri ko sa kakatext ng sorry.

Pero love ko siya e.

As they say, love hurts. Para sakin, love hurts my fingers. Ouch. Haha. Pero at least nanglibre yung kasama ni Cathy. Tnxtnx nga pala! Hehe.

Aun.

So dapat ko na talaga gawin ung homework.

Because You Loved Me - Celine Dion

2006-05-02T08:12:00.000-05:00

For all those times you stood by me

For all the truth that you made me see

For all the joy you brought to my life

For all the wrong that you made right

For every dream you made come true

For all the love I found in you

I'll be forever thankful baby

You're the one who held me up

Never let me fall

You're the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly

You touched my hand I could touch the sky

I lost my faith, you gave it back to me

You said no star was out of reach

You stood by me and I stood tall

I had your love I had it all

I'm grateful for each day you gave me

Maybe I don't know that much

But I know this much is true

I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

You were always there for me

The tender wind that carried me

A light in the dark shining your love into my life

You've been my inspiration

Through the lies you were the truth

My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak

You were my voice when I couldn't speak

You were my eyes when I couldn't see

You saw the best there was in me

Lifted me up when I couldn't reach

You gave me faith 'coz you believed

I'm everything I am

Because you loved me

Im everything I am

Because you loved me

Distracting Myself

2006-04-28T09:29:00.000-05:00

I feel much better today. The mood I was in yesterday was just one of those deeps days wherein I think way too much. In common terms, "WHOA PARE! HEAVY!" But as of now, I feel good, I feel great and Im singing my heart out whenever I want to.

Plus getting a grade of 91% in CISCO without studying at all just made my day even better. ;-)

So, Im happy to be back to my normal self again. I just told myself that I distance quite a bit from the distraction and stick to what I planned for myself. Technicality always helped me in the past and I know it would do wonders for me this time.

Problem is, how can you stay away from somebody who you have tons in common with?

*Sigh*. Maybe one of these days I'll find the answer to that question but right now, I'll just focus on what's at hand and do what I need to do and what I'm supposed to do. Go to school tomorrow and have fun and at the same time, feel extra duper special!

In the meantime, stay tune for updates on American Idol, The Amazing Race and Survivor: Exile Island. Im just too lazy to do that right now.

Cheers!

27-Apr-06

2006-04-27T10:00:00.000-05:00

Thursday.

April 27th, 2006.

Im feeling so horrible today. I don't really know why I keep on thinking different thoughts in my head right now. I'm just so confused as to what I feel and for who I feel it. One side tells me that I should be happy with what I have. Somebody who actually cares about me is there to show the everloving support that I needed. That I needed. On the other end, I feel like I'm just lying to myself and to others if I don't actually release all of this negative energy that Im having.

Honestly speaking, I don't know what I can do right now to stop this train of thought. I shouldn't even be affected by the whole thing but the fact that I am makes me actually stop and think of what I should do. Im an analytical person, I admit it. Its actually more of a curse than a blessing.

Its hard to go through this thing alone. Its hard enough that there is a lot of pressure at home but to have that same kind of pressure when you go out is just too much. Sometimes I just want to curl up underneath a rock, stay there and wait for that one really special person to come, lift me up and take me into their arms and love me.

I have that.

I shouldn't be asking for more.

I don't know what's happening.

Im yearning for something I want to adore.

Turn back time and bring me back.

I can't take this anymore.

Is it that wrong?

Maybe. Judge me now, judge me forever.

Im a confused soul right now.

And I need you more than ever.

Simplified

2006-04-24T19:54:00.000-05:00

Open lab. Stig. Hehe. Sobrang bored ngayon Im just so flustered and frustrated at the same time. I wish that there's another way of showing how much I love you. I wish there was another way of showing how much I care about you. Im just so disappointed at myself for letting you down, I feel like its all of my fault.

ANYWAY

I'll make sure to update this blog more often so expect more things to come. Hehe. As of now, I have a lot of things in my mind so next time na lang.

....

2006-03-25T08:58:00.000-06:00

Is it supposed to be this hard?

Is it supposed to be this confusing?

I am happy now! Why do you have to come to my life and confuse me?

What is this Im feeling?

Im your friend.

That's all there is to it.

Why?

I need you.

I need to hug you so tight.

I am so sorry Boo....

Why Is There Sunshine In The Rain?

2005-12-21T06:55:00.000-06:00

Wow. It has been a while since I posted here. Before I blab about stuff again, I would like to invite you all to my new blog which will be hosting my stories, the link is well, at the links section of this blog. I would really appreciate it if you leave comments and stuff like that. Anyway...

I'm listening to "Let Love Lead The Way" right now which was sung by the Spice Girls post-breakup. Its one of those songs that you normally wouldn't want to listen because I mean, come on, Spice Girls? The hell. But its in my playlist and I had no choice but to listen to it because Im typing right now and I cant change the song now. I'd like to listen to everything. Of course, except for some songs I dont want to mention.

Christmas. How many more days before the actual 25th day of December happens? This is the holiday everybody is waiting for. This is the holiday where we can actually pig out and nobody cares and this is the holiday where we can buy stuff and tell that its for gifts and actually get away with it. And with me being the emotional person that I am, decided to take part in my usual soul-searching. (How many do I need to actually attain something here?) So here goes.

I'm actually confused at this point. 18 years old, raging hormones, instability, emotional drains, mental challenges, who wouldn't right? I mean, something has to happen sooner or later. And well, it happened earlier than expected and I don't know. Im just so confused right now as to what I really believe in. I feel like Im being tugged by my inner conscience and my brain. Im torn apart one might say.

This blog would probably the closest thing I would be able to express what I feel. Im practically sharing it to the rest of the world that Im confused right now. But I dont give a shit about the internet at all. I care about the people outside this small computer space. Im confined by four corners of the wall that envelop me that I just want to run away and never go back.

But I cant. That would be stupid.

So right now, Im just going to shut up for the moment and let things play out as they play out. Im going to finish college and accept everything that life throws at me. May it be awful, great, nice, dirty, clean, whatever. Im going to live the life everybody expects me to live and anybody be damned if they get in my way.

When I get out of college let's see what happens and I'll keep you updated. :)

Just a Quote

2005-10-29T07:57:00.001-05:00

"Why are there enemies when we could be friends? Why are there friends when they would only become your enemies?"

Think about it.

2nd Quarterm

2005-10-05T20:02:00.000-05:00

Hmmm....so, yeah. Just because I'm too stupid to remember and post, so:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TININ!

Bad3p kc ang hirap na magblogger ngayon. Parang ang stupid na ng blogger. Haha. Nakakainis lang talaga kasi ang pahirap. Anyway, 2nd Quarterm ko na in MAPUA for SY 2005-2006. Yes, I am now in my 2nd Quarterm. Thankfully okay naman ung mga nakuha kong professors this term. Hoping na first impressions really last talaga.

Aaaa. Anyways, un lang. Haha. Sobrang pagod lang ngaun kasi I haven't gotten much sleep yet. I've been whacking my *ahem* all night long. Haha. So un. Im even lazy to watch TAR tonight. *gasp*

I need something to eat. Wait....kumain na nga pala ako ng KFC. Haha. Gutom parin ako....so sad na hindi ako tumataba. Good luck! *cheers*

A few minutes later, nakaopen parin 2 and I ate. Haha. Sobrang sabog ko ngayon. Sige, up until here for the meantime. Nyt, nyt.

As I Wait

2005-09-29T04:17:00.000-05:00

As I wait, actually, Im doing nothing. Im just bored out of my mind. So I'll just greet.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

aNnA hErNaNdEz

cHrIs AlCaNtArA

jAn LaRoSa

jUsTiNe DeLeOn

Many more birthdays to come. Take care guys.

Love

2005-09-21T14:33:00.000-05:00

"Because love means having to say you're sorry....constantly."

I just saw this movie and I recommend it. Totally great, I loved every minute of it, it was great. I loved it. Im a sucker for movies like this, what can I say? Im sensitive and traditional kind of guy.

Maybe Im just searching for that right person. Go see it.

Ho

2005-09-13T20:30:00.000-05:00

HiHo. Haha. Alalang. Im just happy 'cause we're done with our defense for our Statistical Paper. *sigh* I am just so freakishly happy right now, I am lazy to study for my Humanities Pre-Final exam tomorrow. Haha. Im just a bum waiting for something to happen.

Im listening right to Victoria Beckham. She is freaking sexy dude! And to be married to David Beckham, their kids are damn lucky to have parents looking like that. Haha. Wished it was me. I love my parents but to have parents like David and Victoria, DAMN!

Haha. Im just happy. Im not in my down mood I was in the previous post and believe it or not, Im happy Im this way. Let's just hope that this continues on.

Excited for Friday too. Survivor: Guatemala begins on Friday and finally, Studio23 decides to show a primetime telecast at 8:00. Finally! I get to watch it without distractions.

Up until here. Good night.

After A Long Time

2005-09-11T21:56:00.000-05:00

A decent post. Wow. I've been so busy lately, it has been one heck of a rollercoaster ride. Forgive the cliche, but it really has been. I've been finding myself looking forward for Sundays to come because half of that day would be spent for me resting. The rest of the day? School work.

Its actually for the best I suppose. The term's about to end and I already have a lot of things lined up. I can't really say if that's going to happen due to my constant attacks of laziness and the emotion instability Im having lately. Lol. It seems that these past few days have left me drained so much that my mind just goes on to random thoughts.

Im happy that I turned 18. Just did last 12th of August. And I came into realization that Im nearing that stage of life wherein I have to leave the walls of my home and live on my own. Its just a lot to swallow, you know? My parents keep on telling me that we should aspire to go far and go abroad (I call it pressure), but my heart's seems not to be in it anymore. I try to be. But I take into consideration the many things in my life. I love them all to bits and I never want to ruin their trust but there are times....*sigh*

This term's starting to get as hell as it gets. Work comes piling in quickly and I blame myself for it and part of it for the professors. Haha. But its all me. I'm doing well actually, surprisingly, I am only fearing for one subject this term unlike the past. I've longed adjusted to MAPUA life, believe me.

I rarely get out anymore. I rarely talk to my sisters anymore and I rarely have a decent conversation with my parents anymore. At morning, Im too sleepy and at night Im too busy. At afternoons, I try to squeeze in every little ounce of humor into my life. I thank my tropa at college for that. If I didn't find these nine other people, I would have probably went insane.

Im a sentimental fool. Actually, it hurts to see people going back to their past and actually having fun. You know, "kwento dito, kwento doon" type of conversation. But what do I have? I have limited number of stuff to say because I rarely see these people anymore. I miss them so much but I have no way of contact with them, even if I try I still can't find time anymore.

I'll admit, naiinggit ako. Im envy them so much kasi they have connections with each other. They can go to Starbucks and just spend the entire night there. They could go to ATC and watch a movie and just hang out. They could go to BF and spend the night just talking. I wish I had that actually. I just don't have the time.

But past is past. I did this in high school, I have to live with it. Partially my fault too that I don't try to talk to them whenever I see them online at YM. But that again is because Im doing something like a project or a term paper or a reasearch or a program that is needed the following day.

*sigh*

Tomorrow, my final week before the finals. I wish I could find enough energy to go through this. Im totally sad as of now. A good night's sleep might make it worse because I think too deep. I need to release all of these emotions all concealed up in me.

And because of that, expect another post tomorrow. 'Nyt.

You're Beautiful

2005-09-05T18:54:00.000-05:00

My life is brilliant.

My love is pure.

I saw an angel.

Of that I'm sure.

She smiled at me on the subway.

She was with another man.

But I won't lose no sleep on that,

'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw you face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,

As we walked on by.

She could see from my face that I was,

Fucking high,

And I don't think that I'll see her again,

But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw you face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,

When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it's time to face the truth,

I will never be with you.

- James Blunt :: You're Beautiful

OMG! I love this song. I <3>

I Don't Want To Be

2005-08-17T21:13:00.000-05:00

I don't need to be anything other

Than a prison guard's son

I don't need to be anything other

Than a specialist's son

I don't have to be anything other

Than the birth of two souls in one

Part of where I'm going, is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be

Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

All I have to doIs think of me and I have peace of mind

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms

Wondering what I've got to do

Or who I'm supposed to be

I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn

I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn

I'm surrounded by identity crisis everywhere I turn

Am I the only one who noticed?

I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be

Anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

All I have to doIs think of me and I have peace of mind

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms

Wondering what I've got to do

Or who I'm supposed to be

I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please?

If you're not like this and that, you're gonna have to leave

I came from the mountain

The crust of creation

My whole situtaion-made from clay to stone

And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be

Anything other that what I've been trying to be lately

All I have to doIs think of me and I have peace of mind

I'm tired of looking 'round rooms

Wondering what I've got to do

Or who I'm supposed to be

I don't want to be anything other than me

I don't want to be

I love this snig! Gavin Degraw rocks! :)

I Broke Down

2005-08-17T03:56:00.000-05:00

Yes, I did. My body couldn't handle it anymore. I am sick as of now. Well, better, but the ocassional pains still reside in my body. I reached 39.4 degrees last night and what did I do?

I studied.

Yes, I studied because its my midterms week. Wrong timing magkasakit no? Haha. I dont know. I always get sick at least once a year. I already proven that, and its usually in the time between August to October. Must be my body. I don't know. Its usually high fever for a day, like a 24 hour flu, together with colds and coughs and a fucking painful headache to boot. Whew.

Sorry for the indecent word there but it really does hurt. I'm dead beat actually. I don't have that much strength than I had when I was in my first year. This term's tough. I'm actually fearing for my grade for the first time. Yeesh...ayoko magkabagsak....

Anyways, Survivor: Guatemala and The Amazing Race 8: Family Edition premiers in September! Woohoo!! Joy joy!

Schedule of Activites

2005-08-04T19:51:00.000-05:00

At least Im learning to prioritize. Seriously, I have a lot in my hands right now, I dont know how to find time to even laugh. Okay, maybe a bit sarcastic there. I finally hit the realization that I am indeed an IT Student who is trying to learn every crooks and crannies of hardware, softward, programming, processors and a lot.

So, tomorrow, I have a test in Constitution. I also have a report for Western Thought. I have to make a Background of the Study for our Constitution Baby Thesis. There's also a thought of Statistical Paper in the midst. Adding to the quiz for Microprocessor at Saturday and a graded board work for Database Systems. God...

So, yeah. That basically sums up my remaining days for the week. So, how's that? Two days. Okay. Go me. Good luck sakin. Actually, Im not alone. The life of a MAPUAN amuses me. Haha. But at the same time, we find time to laugh and actually have fun.

In fact if I had the strength by Saturday, we will go to World Trade to the Food Expo. Yum yum!

So, up until here for the meantime. I have to finish reading Book 6 of Harry Potter. See you.

I Miss You

2005-07-19T19:30:00.000-05:00

I haven't been the best person

And I know I've done wrong

And all I ask now is for you

To forgive me

Even if I lose your friendship forever

I know what I feel is true

If this is the last time I'll say it

Then I'll just being true

I love you as a person

I love you as a friend

I love you 'cause your special

And that it will never end

I wish I could turn back time

And say how much I care for you

Now that I've seem to lose you

I can't imagine life without you

I miss you so much

And I think about the short time

We've known each other

I never knew how much you mean to me

Until now.

-I miss you so much-

Can't Think Of One

2005-07-13T19:10:00.000-05:00

I can't really think of a title for this post so yeah, that's the title for now. Okay. I just had my first day last Monday and I am officially a second year student. FINALLY! After taking 55 units (12 - 14 - 15 - 14), I finally reached my second year in Mapua. I survived one year of a Quarterm System.

Wow.

Unbelievable but I did. Go me! So now I have a whole new year to tackle and I am hoping, wishing, praying and thinking that I won't receive a failing mark for the next four quarters. I almost did after receiving a 3 for Humanities. Damn professor...haha.

So, there's a rally going on in Makati right now and my feet are sore for trying to reach Landmark just to get home. Ayala's closed, Makati Ave's closed, Buendia's a traffic nightmare, the jeeps are full of people, fxs are nowhere to be found, so I think you understand my situation here. There was also a time where Buendia was closed. Imagine how the hell I would get home if that continued on?

So yeah, I'm home, in one piece, after walking pretty much all the streets of Makati. By the time I got to Landmark, I reeked. Nakakahiya. Haha. I am so tired right now but at least my class for tomorrow starts at 10:30. I have a lot of time to rest though I have to leave the hous early because traffic sucks once again in Makati. May CEU na kasi....hehe.

I've met all of my profs na for this term. Good luck na lang sakin sa Constitution and Governance. Haha. Imagine, memorizing all the title of the Articles and the Preamble. Good luck na lang talaga. And then there's CSD, first seatwork pa lang, ang hirap na. Humanties seems like an interesting subject because we're studying Western Literature. CS093 seems pretty hard too and plus, Statistics and Probability. Yeah, like I said, good luck na lang sakin this term. I am swampped as always.

There goes my life.

Until next time.

A Mistake

2005-07-11T21:04:00.000-05:00

Yeah. So there was a mistake in my last post. The place we went to was "Double V". Not Flying, not Triple, I have no idea where I got those ideas. Probably because Flying V is a gasoline station and Triple is well, I don't know.

So there. I'm too lazy to edit those out kaya sinasabi ko na lang dito. Happy happy!

An overdue post

2005-07-08T22:03:00.000-05:00

Posting bonanza! Haha. So yeah, as I enjoy the last two and a half days of my term break, let me share to you guys what I've been doing so far. Okay....let me think....

errr.....

meron yan....

ah ewan. Haha. Ay! I went to Dasma para magswimming with TK. Haha. Saya. As usual hindi nanaman kumpleto, haha. And as always, umalis nanaman kaagad si Cris. Haaay....nagpakapagod lang. So, nagkita kami sa house ni Jaja sa Dian (xmpre, i-advertise) tapos ginamit namin ung van ni Cathy on the way to Dasmariñas which is ironic kasi malapit lang samin ung Dasma pero dumayo pa ako ng Makati. Haha. Ako din pala nagpakapagod. Pero ayos lang. Sa sobrang energetic ko, xmpre ala akong magawa sa van on the way. Sobrang tagal kasi ng trip so ito, nagkuha ako ng mga pictures:

Ang mahiwagang South Luzon Expressway. Haha.

Ang puting kotse sa South Luzon Expressway. Hahaha. Bangag na ako...whee. Ala na talaga ako magawa nyan.

Si Justine, nagpapanic na kasi d pa sure ung dadayuhan namin. Ang saya. Adventure trip! Barkada trip! Haha.

Si Joyce. Ayun. Haha.

Seatmate ko sa van, si Cris.

Three guesses kung sino 'tong mga 'to. D mo alam? Sorry. Haha.

So as the trip went by, we finally reached our destination city. Tama ba? City na nga ba ang Dasmariñas? Anyway, we stayed at Flying V. BUT before actually taking shelter there, we went to two other resorts. One's closed but funny thing, the guard actually let us in the resort. Ito pa ang immortal words nya:

"Swimming po? Sa loob."

And later:

"Sarado."

Okay....And the other other resort is Fisher's Farm. Xmpre may multo dao dun so yeah, takbo na lang tayo to Flying V. Whee..ang fun nung name. Triple V. Ala naman V or anything that's flying but the place is swarmed with cats. Okay....roll call kung sino ung mga kasama.

Gelo (ako un...)

Joyce

Justine

Cathy

Jaja

Mariane

Kuya Gelo

Sir Candy

Melai

Jett

Cris (partially)

Madz (partiall rin pero I'm glad to finally meet her)

Aun. So overnight kami dun, swimming magdamagan, nagkalamanan ng mga secrets kami nila Joyce, Cathy, Jett, Jaja tsaka Sir Candy. Sobrang bangag na nun si Jaja kasi kwento ng kwento pero masaya. Ayan ah, ang dami nyo na nalaman sakin. Hmp. D na ko mysterious. Sayang!

Kinaumagahan, ala nanaman ako magawa kaya nagpicture uli ako. Enjoy the last moments of our swim trip. Whee.

And after that, we went on our merry way and I rode a jeep that took like 30 minutes to get to Zapote. Syet, nakatulog na ko sa jeep, nanaginip na ko, ala parin kami. Asa Imus palang, gutom na gutom na ko. Waaaaah. Haha. Pero masaya.

Until sa next one guys!

Long Weekend Bonanza!

2005-06-13T21:40:00.000-05:00

Hurrah! Haha. I spent two days in ATC and I got to watch Mr. & Mrs. Smith starring Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. It was a great movie, the chemistry between Angelina and Brad are really genuine and you can really see it. No wonder Jennifer Aniston was upset and the rumors between Brad and Angelina.

How I wish I could be Brad. lol.

If you're looking for a movie to watch, I recommend to you guys this one. Good movie, worth the money my parents paid for cinema one. Yes, cinema one pa. haha. Alalng. I'll give you the details but you know, why ruin the fun?

After all, Angelina just turned Lara Croft in one scene there. Teehee.

So that was a Saturday. The next day, Sunday, was the Independence Day and I had no classes (finally....) so we went back to Town and we ate at CPK.

Mushroom Pepperoni Sausage
+
Chicken Tequilla Pasta
+
Bottomless Lemon Iced Tea
---------------------------
heaven

Oh, and it was the first time I went through a day without rice. I went for bread. Also known as pandesal. Hey, its only one peso per piece, so make the most out of it. Even for the *cough*air*cough* filling inside, its still good. Especially when its hot.

So right now, Im going back to my reality and face the agony of a program defense on Wednesday. Wish me luck.

A Guy Can Dream Right?

2005-06-07T12:57:00.000-05:00

Haaay.....I so want this phone. There's somebody in my dad's office who's selling one for 20K. Damn...where can I get that much? If I go outside, its around 29 - 33K. Argh...so in my desperation for one, I'll just some pictures of SE S700i. Enjoy.

Why must you be so expensive....? Daymn.

Blog Codes

2005-06-06T22:11:00.000-05:00

I need codes for mp3 background. If anybody knows, don't hesitate to let me know. Thanks.

Quickie

2005-06-01T22:30:00.000-05:00

Wahahaha. The title itself has many meanings and I'll let you think for yourself what it is. Anyways, just a quick update since I don't really have that much time. Anyways, I've been craving for a few items these past few weeks:

A. Sony Ericsson S700i....why oh why must you be so freakishly expensive?

B. C++ Programming Skills....a guy can dream right?

C. Time for myself....lately, its always busy, busy, busy. I need some space!

On to more matters, the reality mania has ended its seasons and here are the winners of the shows I watched.

Tom Westman (Survivor 10: Palau)
Uchenna and Joyce (The Amazing Race 7)
Carrie Underwood (American Idol 4)

Pictures up soon. Thanks! Hehe.

Shoutout to Nina: Hindi na serious. Hehe.

Unpatriotism

2005-05-23T20:43:00.000-05:00

Lol. I had to type it up in MS Word just to make sure I spelled that right. Oh well. Actually, the title has nothing to do with this post but since we're in the subject...(haha. delaying tactics)

There are times wherein I find it very frustrating to hear from people complaining about this country. On how undisciplined or how unruly everybody is. How we should strive to go abroad, aka, USA. London. Japan. Australia. China. Canada. What I want to know is, are those the only countries abroad or are we just so into the idea that's the all-impossible dream that we all want to achieve. Are we that so egoistic?

I don't know. Take a look at our situation. The Philippines has a downside economy. The Peso is not doing so well against the Dollar. Prices are up, inflation is rampant, corruption is common, theft, murder, cheating is apparent, the police doesn't care, the traffic enforcers really don't give a damn to the traffic, our public education system is getting way down, and let's face it, our situation is grim.

Now let's look at our neighbors. Our REAL neighbors mind you. And the only country I can think of that's doing better than us is Singapore. Let's look at the facts. Countries like Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand are not really fairing well. Oh. Remember the countries called Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan? Not so much huh? Maybe because they're from the old Soviet Republic of Russia, only to gain independence just several years before. Oh yeah....maybe now you're thinking, oh yeah....those countries. Yeah. Those countries that are only being populated by civilization by one fourth of the country.

Let's not forget sunny India. Cows are revered there that's why they're all over the place. And let's not forget also the Middle East. Iraq is in ruins, Iran is near, and hell, everything is in chaos right there.

Let's not also forget dry and sunny Africa. With AIDS going around, the countries' population are dwindling to none, doesn't that make you appreciate what we have?

And finally, South America's crime rate. Venezuela, Chile, Uruguay among countries still has a lot more to settle as crime rate increase per day. Cuba has been under communist rule for a long time and the country is a total mess.

Now I ask you. Do you still think our country is in shambles? Are you still putting it down?

Think about that.

A Retrospective

2005-05-09T22:00:00.000-05:00

Gah...I hope I spelled that right. Anyway, I've bene thinking about doing this for like days now and I've been putting it off because I've just been too busy or too lazy. But now, I finall had the time, the guts and the attitude to do this so bear with me if it gets either dramatic, boring, exciting or whatever.

So. Okay. As the title of this entry states, I'm going to give out somewhat of a true retrospective of my life hence far. I mean, 17 years has been a long way already and I want to come back some time and read this and see what happens.

The past few years for me has been a lot of thinking. Of who I am, who I should be with, who I will be, stuff like that. Its normal, I guess, being that all of us goes through that stage. I certainly did. There were times where I would just lay in my bed and think of what's to come and what have I done. I've done a lot of soul searching for the past few years and quite frankly, I'm not yet done with it. I still have to discover who I really am. Call me confused or whatever, I don't know.

Thirteen years, I've spent at Manresa, and thirteen years of my life I've spent there. I grew up from this shy kid who rarely talks to this guy who seldom talks. Lol. If you know me that well, you would know I have a lot of things to say. I've went through my own share of trouble back in High School, I did several things I regret doing but its part of how I grew up to be. Heck, I even spread rumors. Sigh....

There are of course things in life we regret sometimes. For one instance, it was 2nd year, I was completely confused. 2nd year High School for me was the turning point of who I really am. I was devastated on how I acted that year. And that's the first time I actually felt something for somebody and that's also the first time I toyed with somebody's emotions and the worst part is, I felt good about it. But then I realized, what the hell I'm becoming? Toph, if you're reading this, you don't probably remember but I told you that story. *winks*. I lost touch with a lot of friends that year because I gained a couple new ones. I found solace with three people namely, Tin, Zharee and Jessie and to think that I will cut off ties when we go to 3rd year and repair them back in 4th year. I was such a total jerk in a discreet kind of way.

Let's go back further. 5th and 6th grade, I was with a HUGE and I mean HUGE group of friends at that time. We have to combine two long tables for us to fit together. I can't really name all of them right now but I remember most of them. Come 1st year, I was left with how many? There's one, two, three, four, five. I think. I think we were six. God, how I miss that time. I felt like I finally found a best friend that I will never have. We're six in the group remember? Meaning, we're bound to pair up and well, if you're reading this, and you're a part of that, you'll probably know. You're the first person to read my stories btw. *winks again*

Oh yeah, that's when I also realized my writing potentials. First year. Wow. I don't know what else to say but wow. That was a great year for me emotionally.

Okay. Come 3rd year. I was changed. I joined in the CAT officer training thing and there were several moments I wanted to quit. Really. It crossed my mind like every minute of the day. I already have my quitting letter at my PC, ready to be printed at anytime. But you know what? I sucked it up and I was DEVASTATED when I was out because of an exam. And after all the hard work some of those trainer officers had going for me. I know. *winks one more time* I wanted to be there. But you know, you lose some and gain some. And I did.

I found myself with the barkada I had for the rest of my high school life. Of course I was with the non-co.s back then but then we got bigger and bigger and bigger. And that's when my realization comes in.

I'm really alone in this F*cked up world. Correct me if I'm wrong but I just feel all alone. I was looking back at my High School memories and the real deal is, I cut ties with people and when I needed them back, I desperately try something. Damn it. Its so frustrating how much horrible I've become. I feel like I've been abandoned and I am trying to fend for myself for the rest of my months in High School.

Those who I call friends, half of them aren't really what I think they are.

Those who I call friends, half of them don't even want to be near me.

Those who I call friends, half of them don't even care what happens to me.

Those who I call friends, I could count those who think I don't belong with them.

BUT

There are those I have a close friendship that I can really say its true.

That's why I'm contended with my college life now. Sure, its a lot different because I'm exposed to these elements in this world. But you know what? I'm happy. I can finally say that I belong to a group who will actually accept me as who I am.

But doesn't leave that question in life,

How long will it last?

-If I think of more to say, I'll add it but right now, I'm done. I said my piece,

I'm okay. Hope to everybody who reads this, can relate to it. Thanks for reading.

Wherever You Will Go

2005-05-06T15:40:00.001-05:00

Wherever You Will Go

By: The Calling

So lately, been wondering

Who will be ther to take my place

When I'm gone you'll need love to light the shadows on your face

If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all

Then between the sand and stone, could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would,

I'll go wherever you will go

Way up high or down low,

I'll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I'll find out

A way to make it back someday

To watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days

If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all

Then I hope there's someone out there who can bring me back to you

If I could, then I would,
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low,
I'll go wherever you will go

Run away with my heart

Run away with my hope

Run away with my love

I know now, just quite how

My life and love might still go on

In your heart, in your mind, I'll stay with you for all of time

If I could, then I would,

I'll go wherever you will go

Way up high or down low,

I'll go wherever you will go

If I could turn back time, I'll go wherever you will go

If I could make your mine, I'll go wherever you will go

I'll go wherever you will go

American Idol Mania

2005-04-29T10:30:00.000-05:00

THE TOP FIVE:

The final five in American Idol (in order of their pictures): Anthony Federov (Don't Take Away The Music, Climb Evry Mountain, I Surrender), Bo Bice (Remedy, Spinning Wheel, Whipping Post), Carrie Underwood (Alone, Hello Young Lovers), Scott Savol (Against All Odds) and Vonzell Solomon (I Got Nothing, Anyone Who Had A Heart, Let's Hear It For The Boy).

Who will become the next American Idol to join the ranks of Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard and Fantasia Barrino? The final five gives their performances next week. Check it out, at Star World, Wednesdays & Thursdays.

Frustration at the Admin

2005-04-25T18:29:00.000-05:00

Kainis talaga. I am so freaking upset with the OSA at Mapua - Intramuros. Last Sunday, I went to my NSTP class wearing sandals and then this guard comes up to me and says my sandals are unathorized kinds because it doesn't have any strap behind it. Of course, I'm ready to take any responsibility for it since I didn't know about that rule. C to the R to the A to the P. Total crap. He tooks my ID. WTF!?

So now, I went back to Mapua-Intra to get back my ID. When I got there, this woman told me that the guards haven't delivered any IDs they confiscated yesterday. That's when my frustration turned worse. I went back to my dad who was waiting outside and he told me that he will go to the office and get things straight (goooo dad!!). When he got there, he tried his best but now this lady wants me to recite the Vision-Mission of Mapua. WTF? What does the vision - mission have anything to do with my "unathorized sandals"? And it has to be done memorized. Gaah....I don't even know my school's hymn for crying out loud!

Frustrated, my dad tried to cheer me up but treating to breakfast at mcdo. I was so freaking upset, I wanted to scream, I wanted to march to that office and demand my ID back. Crap, that's just a minor, insy-weensy, offense, and I have to do so much just to get it back and clear my name. Damn it.

So now, I have nothing else to do but try to get my ID back and wait for it to come to Makati campus since they told my dad that they're going to "deliver" it to that campus since that's where I study. I sure hope so. I don't want to go back to that a-hole campus for all I care.

Gaaah....wish me luck.

Explode!

2005-04-17T10:05:00.000-05:00

I just learned last night that Survivor: Palau is being showed during Saturdays at 7:00 PM. I am so giddy with excitement! Hurray!!!!

Okay, that's it, I so need to get out of the house.

See you.

Hey, its me!

2005-04-15T21:50:00.000-05:00

Haha. Me = vain is being shown. Anyway, here are some of my pix in my phone right now that I took of myself while I was in Subic enjoying myself and getting a sunburn in the process. Enjoy.

-On the road to Subic. Man...what a long trip that was. Ito pang funny. My dad went to the end of the expressway e d naman dun ung exit papuntang Olongapo / Subic!!! Haha. Hay...that was about 30 mins back and 30 mins going so an hour or so was wasted. Sobrang sakit na ng butt ko after nung ride na un and it was early morning for crying out loud!! Syempre fresh pa ko nyan. Haha.

-On the ferry to Grande Island. It was a ferry that runs only once in a day so we're practically stuck in the island for 3 days and 2 nights. Pero ayos lang. Total seclusion.

-Chilling in my bed in the room me and my sister (older) shared. I was so tired that time and frustrated too. Haha. Check out my previous posts to know why.

That's it for now.

A Big Shout Venna Banana

2005-04-09T16:17:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Un lang po.

A Look In My Life

2005-04-08T20:30:00.000-05:00

Yes I'm vague. Lol. But its a chance for me to share what I've been doing. After all, this is what a blog is suppose to be for right? Anyways, I have a week left before my fourth term in Mapua actually happens. Mapua has 4 terms by the way, which is called the Quarterm System, so we study all year round. Its three months per term. Anyways, I will be taking up Humanities 1, Psychology 1, Calculus 3 (which is Math 4), CS 2, PE 4 and NSTP 4. Right now, I'm so bummed, I cant wait to get back to school but at the same time, I want to just stay home. What can I do? I'm a home body.

So right now, I'm stuffing myself with reality TV. Stuff I love to watch like Survivor, The Amazing Race, American Idol, Friends, Charmed and a whole lot more and I've been playing The Sims 2, been writing a Survivor Fic and hosting a game and as well as playing in several already in Fantasy Games Central. Its an ezboard so its international. Lol.

I'm a bum, what can I say? Its a monotonous life I suppose but I'm loving it. I just hate it when people want to keep stuffing things to do into you like take lessons or do something when in fact, this is the only summer vacation I have and its really, really frustrating since they think that I'm wasting my time. I'm not doing anything in my life when in reality, I'm resting up. I need a rest, relaxation and me time. I need it.

Well, I'm getting bored right now. Lol. So I'm going to stop here for a moment. I'm going to update you guys more soon. Take care.

Just a Quick One

2005-04-06T19:17:00.000-05:00

Im looking for a site that can update files like mp3s and such. Just wondering. If you have any idea, let me know okay? Thanks.

Pope John Paul II dies at 84

2005-04-04T11:41:00.000-05:00

VATICAN CITY (AFP) - Pope John Paul II died after a long struggle against crippling infirmity which inspired Christians the world over, ending a tumultuous 26-year reign that shaped world politics and plunging 1.1 billion Roman Catholics into mourning.

The 84-year-old pontiff died at 9:37 pm (1937 GMT), according to a Vatican statement, two days after suffering heart failure brought on by two months of acute breathing problems and other infections.

"The Holy Father died this evening at 21:37 in his private apartment," said a brief statement released by the Holy See.

"All the procedures forseen by the Apostolic Constitution 'Universi Dominici gregis' promulgated by John Paul II on 22 February 1996 have been set in motion," it concluded.

News of his death touched not only Catholics from his native Poland to the Americas, from Africa to Asia, but untold numbers of other admirers of one of the most popular and recognizable popes in history.

During his pontificate -- the third longest in 2,000 years of Christianity -- he was a master at reaching the masses through the media, displaying public relations skills unknown to his predecessors while at home at the Vatican, as well as on his visits to 129 countries.

But, after he was rushed to hospital on February 1 with breathing problems, his final illness silenced the voice which had given hope to millions living under oppression while frustrating those who rejected his deeply conservative moral views.

In one of the most poignant moments of his pontificate, he was unable to give his traditional message to worshippers in Saint Peter's Square outside the Vatican on Easter Sunday and could barely raise his hand in silent blessing.

After that, his health worsened quickly. A few days later he was given the Viaticum, popularly known as the last rites.

His health continued to deteriorate. He slipped in and out of consciousness and his heart weakened. His blood pressure fell, but Vatican officials said he remained "serene" accepting his fate.

The first non-Italian pope in four-and-a-half centuries, and the first ever from eastern Europe, Karol Wojtyla was the 263rd successor to Saint Peter as Bishop of Rome.

A warm and earthy figure, he was immensely popular, imposing his own style and agenda on the papacy, eschewing the pomp that surrounded his forebears and seeking contact with ordinary people.

Born in a small town near Krakow, in southern Poland, the son of an army officer, on May 18, 1920, he was brought up by his father after the death of his mother when he was eight. His elder brother, a doctor, died in 1932 during an outbreak of scarlet fever.

He became a parish priest and rose steadily through the Church hierarchy until, as bishop of Krakow, he became widely known to Western ecclesiastical authorities during the Second Vatican Council from 1962 to 1965.

When Cardinal Wojtyla was elected pope in October 1978, he was 58, a robust sportsman and a relative outsider amid the vast bureaucracy of the Holy See.

The advent of a Polish pope provided an immeasurable boost to his countrymen, and the upshot was a reinvigorated anti-communist working class movement, the birth of the communist bloc's first independent trade union, Solidarity, and the steady thaw of the communist glacier that lay over eastern Europe.

Perhaps his finest hour came when he stood before fellow Poles in 1979 and said "Do not be afraid", prompting millions to rally to the cause of Lech Walesa whose "Solidarnosc" movement was fighting to end communist rule in Poland.

In 1981 the pope was nearly killed in an assassination attempt by rightwing Turkish fanatic Mehmet Ali Agca, who shot him at close range in Saint Peter's Square. He survived after extensive surgery, but his health was badly affected thereafter.

At the same time, Church reformers, the young, and Third World congregations in the grip of a devastating AIDS epidemic became dismayed at his refusal to give ground on contraception and the use of condoms.

"For the Catholic Church, this pontificate, despite its positive aspects, has really been a disaster," said Swiss theologian Hans Kung in 2003.

"Many women have turned away from the Church because of the pope's position on contraception and the ordination of women," he added.

In the United States, high-profile scandals involving several pedophile priests shook the foundations of the Catholic Church until the Vatican belatedly sanctioned a policy of "zero tolerance" toward such behaviour.

"There is no place in the priesthood and religious life for those who would harm the young," John Paul said at the height of the scandals.

During two and a half decades as pope, John Paul met almost every significant head of state or government, from US presidents Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton to Kremlin leaders Mikhail Gorbachev and Boris Yeltsin, from emperor Hirohito of Japan to Queen Elizabeth of Britain, from the Israeli leadership to Arab monarchs and presidents.

Under his leadership, the Vatican opened diplomatic relations with Israel in 1993 and he was the first pope to pray in a synagogue in 1986.

But Vatican policy-making assumed an increasingly authoritarian stamp. He issued 13 encyclicals, including three on socio-economic questions, and wrote several best-selling books.
In the mid-1990s he became increasingly frail, suffering from Parkinson's disease, arthritis and other ailments.

Despite his infirmities, he continued travelling as widely as possible, making a historic visits to Cuba and embarking on a gruelling programme of events for the Church's Jubilee year in 2000.

Hurray-Hurrah-Hurray! Cheer on!

2005-04-02T22:35:00.000-06:00

Lol. Okay. Just got back from my 3-day vacation to Subic and to Grande Island and well, let's leave it to that. Haha. It was fun but the resort itself needs MAJOR improvements. Do you hear me? MAJOR improvements. I've been to resorts in Cebu like Plantaion Bay and Alegre (nax...nagyabang ba naman?) and Grande Island is nothing in comparison to those two. Let's see...

1 - The beach is full of jellyfish, sea urchins and yes fish. Okay, the fish is cool but jellyfish and sea urchins? Are you trying to kill us?

2 - The generator died out on us on our 2nd night and nobody even told us what's happening. Abu Sayaaf anyone? Lol.

3 - Airplanes from the nearby landing strip of Subic keeps flying over the island and let's see, NEAR CONTACT to the cottages we sleep in?

4 - The TV has LIMITED channels. Again, LIMITED channels. We have the local channels + HBO, Cinemax and Star Movies. And...that's it. WOW!

5 - The lagoon is full of algae. Who makes a lagoon wherein you swim in and you see algae?

6 - There are a lot of construction going on.

7 - THERE'S NO SWIMMING POOL! HELLO!?

8 - There are a lot of places that needs cleaning, weeding, cutting and a good brush up or two.

But of course, let's not forget how the managers of the said resort are ANTI-SOCIAL. The staff is more sociable than those guys and we eat right next to them. The food is great btw. But what I'm saying is that, sheesh. Those guys are the managers of the resort, the least they can do is ask us how we are in their resort, blah blah blah but nooooo. They just sat there and ate their freaking dinner or lunch.

But I had fun. The last point of our trip is the ZOOBIC SAFARI. Fun, fun, fun. I promise, I'll put in a little detail and pictures up soon. I just got to fix up my new Creative Zen Micro which I just got! Wheepee!!!!!

Okay. That's it for me.

Random Thoughts

2005-03-28T22:10:00.000-06:00

Whew. First of all, don't mind me. Lolz. Okay. Ever wonder why....

People always seem to be in a hurry at Makati?

People say they learn from their mistakes but make the same mistake again?

People like scandals but hate it when they're part of it?

Celebrities show off their glamour but turn upside down when they get to politics?

Regine Velasquez is called the "Asia's Songbird" when her voice is not at all like a songbird?

There's an international date line passing through Greenland?

Books like Harry Potter are being condemned by some because its witchcraft?

People like to read and watch porn but can't really talk about it?

My internet connection is very, very, very, very crappy?

People tend to panic at the last minute?

People don't believe the hard facts but believe in an instant rumors?

Celebrities always want new images for themselves?

People are very judgmental when it comes to looks?

People tend to gravitate towards hip places but stray away from churches and learning places?

People tend to stay late at night but don't want to get up early?

Notepad is being used when there are programs for easier HTML process?

Every year, we get a new Way of the Cross?

Its hot in the countries below the equator line but its freezing in Antartica which is also below the equator line?

People to complain but don't want anything change when people take action?

Told you to not mind me. :lol I'm just rambling. Okay. Next.

A Tribute to Holy Week

2005-03-25T18:37:00.000-06:00

Hi guys. I decided to place a poem I found from a Prayer Book which tributes the stations of the cross (now at 15) and its the right time since its the Holy Week. So here goes:

May we feel no bitter hatred,

When we too are persecuted,

Left alone to walk with you.

Now the Cross as Jesus bore it,

Has become for us who share it,

The jewelled Cross of Victory.

Weakened, prodded, cursed and fallen,

His whole body bruised and swollen,

Jesus tripped and lay in pain.

Jesus met his grieving Mother,

She who made the Lord our Brother,

Now the sword her heart has pierced.

Simon stopped in hesitation,

Not foreseeing his proud Station,

Called to bear the Cross of Christ.

Brave but trembling came the woman,

None but she would flaunt the Roman,

Moved by love beyond her fear.

Prostrate on the dust he crumbled,

Flogged in body he resembled,

All our brothers poor and scorned.

May our sympathy for Jesus

turn to those who here now need us,

May we see Christ bruised in them.

Jesus fell again in weakness,

Stumbling as we do, to lead us,

Through our sorrow and our pain.

Stripped and jeered by his own nation,

Jesus stood in desolation,

Giving all he had to give.

Pierced the hands that blessed and cured us,

Pierced the feet that walked to free us,

Walked the hill of Calvary.

Life eternal, death defiant,

Bowed his head - the world was silent,

Through his death came life anew.

Stunned and stricken, Mary, Mother

In your arms was placed our brother,

Full of grace now filled with grief.

Jesus, Lord, your gift accepted,

In three days you resurrected,

You did first what we shall do.

Jesus risen be our lover,

In your food and in our brother,

Lead us home to paradise.

May we find realization in ourselves and know where we came and where we would come back. Through suffering, pain and death, the Lord has given us everything he has to save us. You? What have you done to ease his pain?

Grades

2005-03-20T00:06:00.000-06:00

Yay!!! I just saw my grades sa My Mapua and I am ecstatic. Here's the breakdown:

Filipino - 1.50
English - 1.75
CS - 2.50
IT - 2.00
Math - 2.25
PE - 1.75
NSTP - 2.00

Weighted Average - 2.05

I am so happy. It is way higher than my second term. My second term's average was 2.37 and seeing that it went up by .32, that's a HUGE accomplishment in Mapua. haha.

So there. Its 12:06, I got to get some sleep. Nytnyt.

Whew

2005-03-17T22:31:00.000-06:00

Wow. 3rd term's finally over and w-h-e-w. What a term it was. It was a killer term let me tell you and I got my fourth one coming in any time now. Oh wait, I can see it right now. Oh man....I need a l-o-n-g break. I need it so badly. But you know, I can't do much about it really. Got to take it all in na.

So anyways, hence my so-called "summer vacation" begins. My finals ended last Tuesday at exactly 11:00 AM after taking my last final exam (redundant? I dont think so...) English. And after that, I took a breather. I was actually giddy with excitement on my way back home that I slept peacefully at the bus of course with the continuous care of my things most especially my bag, my phone and my wallet, which is quickly running out of money. Got home, jump on the PC wagon and played The Sims 2: University until my eyes water. Lol. Really, I did that. A needed gelo-world slap there.

I've been downloading American Idol songs like crazy. I just love that show. I mean, new talents singing songs in front of millions, I wonder myself if I can do it. Who knows? But heck, I won't join those singing competitions here that I don't even get the rules of the competition itself. At least in American Idol, there's an elimination and the people decide, not the judges for the show.

Just so you know, here is the Top 12 for American Idol:
1. Nadia Turner
Comment: I love this woman. Really great tone of her voice and all of her performance was just great. Really great, professional.
2. Bo Bice
Comment: Rocker, way too pumped up but he can really sing. Loved his performance in the top 12 show yesterday too.
3. Mikalah Gordon
Comment: Way too perky but has a really interesting deep voice. I don't know if I like her or not.
4. Anthony Federov
Comment: I think he sings good but not that good enough still.
5. Constantine Maroulis
Comment: I laughed when somebody in the message boards (yes, I visit) posted that Constantine should be named, "Crapstantine". But he's getting better. Just minus the total camera hogging.
6. Carrie Underwood
Comment: I don't know about this one. Not standing out.
7. Jessica Sierra
Comment: Another performer I like. Really shone out well.
8. Anwar Robinson
Comment: He's getting boring....*yawn* But I like his voice.
9. Vonzell Solomon
Comment: Wow. If she can control her voice, she's going to be great.
10. Scott Savol
Comment: He's starting to shine, I think he will do well.
11. Nikko Smith
Comment: I find his voice very squeaky. Kinda like a mouse. (Doi...hence the squeaky voice.)
12. Lindsey Cardinale
Comment: She got eliminated and I think it was time for her to go. 60s music was just not for her so oh well. But she has a good voice.

So there. The top 12. Got to go back to downloading. See you soon.

Bombarded!

2005-03-07T22:14:00.000-06:00

Waaah!!! I am so tired and its only freaking Monday. I got tons of work to do. Im the master of procrastination. It must be a disease most common nowadays since people are more likely intune with it. Sigh. Before I go a-hole here, I'll post the things I need to accomplish:

*Research Paper (English, Filipino)
>> Basically, there are still 2 chapters for English and an interview to do with the Tyler K-9 in Cubao, I think. Plus, I need to re-write the whole damn formal letter for them. Ang arte naman kc e...
>> For Filipino, I have to add some things up for the research paper that needs to be submitted by Friday. Ugh...

*HTML Project (CS)
>> I have to do a website that is done in Notepad mostly. Who uses notepad anyway? There's got to be a better way to do this. I've done two pages and I'm down to five more. Help me....

*Letters (Filipino)
>> Have to do three letters for Filipino to be submitted to on Friday.

*Study for Quizzes, Practical Tests (PC Assembly, Filipino, English)
>> There's this Practical Test + Quiz#2 in PC Assembly by Friday, Last Long Quiz in Filipino ALSO on Friday and a Pre-Final Exam in English on Saturday.

*Type
>> I have to finish at least one episode of my fic. I'm on a tight schedule here.

*Buy The Sims 2: University Expansion Pack
>> I want one. I need one. I got to buy one.

*Do the ratings for the Students (NSTP - CWTS)
>> Darn those kids....I have to do a report about them. I'm already bombarded with enough work as it is.

Help me out here. Lolz. Wish me luck. I need to finish all of these stuff by today or at least half of it. I need two of those by tomorrow so there.

Viva Mapua!

2005-03-04T21:05:00.000-06:00

March 4, 2005, I finally got to participate in one the rallies done by the UM (United Mapuans). This time, it wasn't in Intramuros but it was in front of the RCBC Building in Makati located in the corner of Buendia and Ayala (I think) but I think you guys know where it is.

It started at around 12:45 in the afternoon and ended at around 3:00. It was really fun and worth the pain in my ankles at that time and the fact that it was slightly raining at that time was really worth every minute of it we were there. Plus, there's this really cute chick who was driving a pajero that's part of the motorcade that honks their horn as it goes around RCBC. You guys get the picture right?

Anyways, let me get on with my story. We went to Mini Stop at around 12:15 to pass some time since as always, Filipino time got into the people and they were really late. The rally was suppose to start at 12:00 people! Anyways, we took a break at Mini Stop, ate whatever food is there that suits us and went on our way. On our way to the other side of the street (in front of the plaza), there were already anti-riot squad positioned in front of the building and there were even canines roaming around the area! Haha.

So, the rally begins. The usual thing happened. We screamed our hearts out Viva Mapua and No to Malayan and the ever famous line: "Walayan!" Lolz. We were really having fun and at the same time there were cars of Mapuans going around with banners and streamers attached to their cars and honking out loud, one even sounded like it was a train! Lolz.

Viva Mapua!

No To Malayan!

Walayan!

Peace!

Haha. Okay. It was really, really fun and plus, there's going to be another rally on Wednesday next week in the same place. Gee. I should go back. I loved the experience and everybody was just getting along great. At that moment, I finally felt the true spirit of being a MAPUAN.

Viva Mapua!

Reality TV

2005-03-03T19:10:00.000-06:00

Isn't funny how reality TV just popped out of nowhere and now its one of the most watched shows in TV? We have foreign reality TV that ranges from surviving in an island, racing around the world, dating games, model searches, talent shows, fake marriages, marriage on TV, marriage here and there and just lives of celebrities and/or real people.

I for one is a self-confessed addict to reality TV. I find it very, very addicting. But for me, only a couple stand out and here are the following:

A. Recurring Series
1. Survivor (Currently on Survivor: Palau - 10th season)
2. The Amazing Race (Currently on its 7th season)
3. American Idol (Currently on its 4th season)
B. Finished Series
1. Manhunt
2. America's Next Top Model
3. Murder in Small Town X
4. Survivor Seasons 1 - 9
5. The Amazing Race Seasons 1 - 6

What makes me like these shows? I have no clue but they provide me entertainment and Im very much addicted. Bare with me if I'm like this but its only once in a while for me to have an addiction to something.

Thanks.

A Whole New Blog

2005-03-02T21:57:00.000-06:00

Hello. I just thought of deleting all my posts (yes, I did just that) and start from scratch all over again. Also, I decided that I will use the templates found here in Blogger since its more easier to use and navigate as well. Plus, I learned a couple of new things from HTML class this morning so it really helps a lot this time.

So what do you expect to find in this blog? I still have no clue. I plan on putting my Survivor stories here. I don't know. Maybe or maybe not. But for the meantime, there won't be any updates since I will be in the process of writing things. Plus to take care of a baby thesis in English and Filipino, a website design for CS and the dreaded finals week is close approaching, I have my hands full right now.

So there. I hope you guys enjoy the format since I sure do and hope to see you soon again.