New Home

I have a new blog to post my thoughts since I'm having a hard time to post now on blogger. Don't really know why must be my settings. Anyways, here's the new link:

http://lups272.livejournal.com/

I'm going to start posting soon. Thanks. :)

Birthday Shoutouts

Happy Birthday to....

JaJa LaRoSa

JuStInE dE lEoN

JaY gUiNdAy

TiNs HeRnAnDeZ

ChRiS aLcAnTaRa

Sana ala ako nakalimutan. Hehe. If I did, let me know.

Shoulder To Cry On

Its hard....

Its hard to find the one person you could relate to. Somebody you feel a strong connection with no matter what your status with that person is. Sooner or later you'd feel something deep inside of you that you'd want to express it out. Shout it out to the entire world what you really feel.

Maybe I'm being stupid to the fact that I'm still hoping for a chance. One time I felt right about smething, one time that I feel like I finally found this light that would pull me out of the darkness, then this happens. Its just so unfair for me. I may sound selfish or what, but the fact is, I cannot deny or block out this feeling I have right now.

Its so hard to think that there's no chance at all. It hurts me everytime I see this person walk down in front of me and I can't even say anything, that I can't express what I really feel because its a threshold I dare not cross. It hurts everytime that I feel like I am ready to show my entire heart and soul to a person, that I cannot do it because of something else. It breaks my heart knowing that I feel right and yet the other finds it wrong.

I don't know what to do now. I honestly don't. I hope you're reading this because I want to whisper it to your ear and say that my feelings are growing every single day whether or not I see you. Its hard to accept the fact that there might be no more chance and everytime I think about it, I can't help but tear up.

....

I want to get away, run away, forget about this thing I'm feeling for you but I can't. I've tried every single way I could to do it but I just can't. Maybe its something deeper, maybe its not, I just don't know.

I want you to know because I cannot find myself peace if I don't tell you. I really hope that I find the right reason and the right moment to do it.

I just need a shoulder to cry on just right now.

Surprisingly Yours

....tired....

....so so so tired....

....sleepy....

....so so so sleepy....

but im still typing....

ZzZzZzZzZzZ.....

Haha. Un lang po.

Happy Birthday Shoutouts

Just thought I'd greet some people for this month of August. So Happy Birthday to...

Mc BaGuIo

MeLaI iBaRrA

CaThY rOdIl

MaV dUrAn

MaRk SaLaZaR

MaJ tOlEdO

AtE pInA

Aun lang. Hehe. Kung may nakalimutan ako, sorry. Happy Birthday din sa yo.

I Grow Stronger

Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable.

See the tagboard message there on the right side? "Anonymous gurl", or whoever. *sigh* I don't really know what I did to you that's so wrong or anything, I just want to know why you posted that. Maybe I did something wrong, and I would absolutely without any moment's hesitation accept it if you'd just tell me what it was.

I hate the fact that somebody out there doesn't like me and the best thing you could do is post in my message board and personally attack who I am. Do you even know me? Do you even know how I live?

I don't even know you and yet here I am trying to figure out a way to make sure that things work out. That maybe I could sort things out with you and we could go from there. I cannot do a thing if I don't know what the heck the problem is. And since you brought it up, you might as well finish what you've started, right?

Now, whatever your plan is, okay, bring it on. I am not forcing a fight, I am not looking for a fight, I just want answers. Maybe Im the wrong guy you're targetting or whatever, I do have my picture up there.

Its just so frustrating that somebody attacks you on your place you can open up your thoughts and be okay with it. So I tell you "Anonymous Gurl", speak up and let me know what your problem is to me and not use any code names because I for one cannot understand you.

Its between you, me and somebody I know. There are about a hundred people I know so you might as well tell me the freaking name and get on with our lives. You can do it in so many ways that you don't need to embarass yourself.

You can email me at lups272@yahoo.com

You can reach me through Yahoo! Messenger with the username lups272.

You can also reach me through AOL Messenger with the username gelomallare.

You take your pick. If Im not on, you can always leave a message right? No need to hide yourself. Its better for you to show yourself and let it all out otherwise you'll just stay as bitter and bitchy as you are in your post.

I'm done.

...As I cry...

Ang pagmamahal, hindi iniisip. Nararamdaman.

Mahirap talaga. Sa buong buhay ko hindi ko pa nararanasan na maging ganito. Yung tipong masaya at malungkot ng sabay. Mahirap dalhin sa balikat mo na may napakalaking problema ka pero kailangan mo ipakita na masaya ka. Mahirap talaga na madaming gumugulo sa isipan mo at hindi mo alam kung ano na ang gagawin mo.

Hindi bawat oras masaya magmahal.

Sabagay, lahat tayo dadaan sa ganung situation sooner or later. Gusto ko sana isipin na kaya ko 'tong lagpasan. Gusto ko sana na pagkatapos ng lahat, wala akong magiging problema. Pero everytime na lang na magiisip ako, wala na akong magawa kungdi masaktan, umiyak, maguluhan. "Kaya natin 'to", sabi nya. But what if I don't?

Hindi mo maiiwasan na may masaktan.

Sa lahat ng ayaw ko ay 'yung may masasaktan. Yung may mahihirapan. Kasi lahat ng ginawa ko e buong puso kong ginagwa. Its hard to think that for everything that you've done, it all comes down to somebody getting hurt. I don't want that. Its too hard for me to handle seeing somebody I care for so much get hurt. Ayoko na lumabas na binalewala ko lahat. Ayoko na lumabas na hindi ako nag-appreciate sa lahat ng nagawa at nangyari. And most importantly, I don't want to end something so dear and precious just because I can't do it anymore.

To err is human, to forgive is divine.

Possibly the best thing that could happen is to let it go. I can't keep holding on knowing that nothing would ever happen since I can't keep on making it happen. Its so hard to make a decision that you may regret later on but its part of life. Its why we are human. We are human because we are to help each other. We aren't divine, we are but only human.

And after this is all over, I can only hope and pray that everything goes well.

Im Counting On You

Meron 'to dun sa sidebar ko. I thought I'd place it here too. :)

Here in the Dark

I stand before you knowing

This is my chance to show you my heart

This is the start, this is the start.

I have so much to say and I'm hoping

That your Arms are open

Don't turn away, i want you near me

But you have to hear me.

Here's where I stand,

Here's who I am

Love me, but don't tell me who I have to be

Here's who I am,

I'm what you see.

You said I had to change and I was trying

But my heart wasn't lying

I'm not a child any longer

I am stronger

Here's where I stand,

Here's who I am

Help me, to move on but please don't tell me how

I'm on my way, I'm moving now

In this life we've come so far

but we're only who we are (who we are)

With courage of love (Courage of Love)

show us the way (Show us the way)

Unlock the power
To stand up and say (Stand up)

(Up and say!)

Here's where I stand

Here's who I am

(Stand Up) and be counted, i'll be counting on you

If you're with me, we'll make it through

Here's where I stand,

Here's who I am

Love me, Love me, Love me, and we'll make it through

Here's where I stand,

Baby, Baby, Baby, I'm counting on you

Here's where I stand

Love me, Love me, Love me, and we'll make it through

I'm counting,

I'm counting,

I'm counting, I'm counting on....

You